Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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