Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
