I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
