that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
