I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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