On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
