hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
