she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
