'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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