Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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