To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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