So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
