Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
