The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
