she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
