Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
