hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
