We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
