I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
