hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
