the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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