Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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