I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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