Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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