He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
