: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
