i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
