omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
