friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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