I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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