You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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