On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
