chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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