I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
