Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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