Im at strip club and am horny
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
