ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
