wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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