Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
