Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
