just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
