2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
