And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
