He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
