end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Panties = found
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
