the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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