but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
