Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we made out on top of his cat.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
