How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
