is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
